Say, aren't slightly angry and annoyed posts always a bit funnier than run-of-the-mill here are the basics about my day posts?

I sure hope so.

This morning for chores I fed two pigs, or tried to. One of the pigs is in a barn so of course that pig was there. The other pig, Petunia, has figured out how to get out of her pin in Appalachia and then walks over to the compost piles, and, quite literally, pigs out. And we have huge compost piles- taller than me, wider than a car. 10-12 feet tall, 30ish feet long, and 20ish feet wide. Hog heaven.

Here's why I care: When I went to feed Petunia this morning, her pen was empty. Of course, I dumped her food in the bowl then immediately went over to the compost pile to find Petunia, who was, get this, asleep in a huge pile of onions. This pig was asleep in a huge pile of food. And it took me 20 minutes to convince her to leave her oniony heaven and get back home. This pig is already too fat to breed!

That's like me breaking out of my home, sneaking into a cheesecake factory, and falling asleep in a huge vat of cheesecake filling. Or asleep in a bowl of wet cereal. Or asleep in a vat of melted chocolate. It's just gross.

Lord, pigs are nasty sometimes.