Habits that used to be worthwhile

I find myself quite often coming to the realization that I am, in fact, grown up, and that time, in fact, is going faster and that, in fact, my metabolism is slowing, and that, in fact, the future that I had been planning for is here, and it isn’t exactly what I thought it would be. I spent many years planning for the so-called future without really realizing that the future would instead be a culmination of many presents, and that if I spent all of my free time planning, instead of developing some skill or talent, I would learn only to plan. And what I have I discovered? I’m good at planning. And that there isn’t any thing wrong with being idle.

Every once in a while it will hit me that I’ve become a full fledged creature of the habits I had, and not the habits I intended to have. I haven’t quite gotten in to the habit of finishing things, and the habit of being relaxed I’ve avoided entirely. What an interesting thing to realize. I hereby plan to spend less time planning, and more time chilling. It’s all too easy to get caught up in organizing abstract things. I need to waste more time, or learn to waste time in a way that contributes to my value/worth/interest as a human being. I’m getting there.

In the meantime, I was sitting a table of people during my last couple of days at Future Builders and a discussion of clothing/style came to be. Many of the people liked the 80s, liked the 50s and 70s, and hated the 1990s. Grunge. Tommy Hilfiger. Plaid. Flat tennis shoes, Swatch watches, Nirvana t-shirts, off-brand cigarettes. Diablo, Warhammer, Magic the Gathering, and anime. Delia*s. AIR shop. And the consensus? Everyone in that room with the exception of myself and one other person hated the 90s. My initial response was to hide my Flik-Flak watch.

I had a Pop-sickle t-shirt, a yellow web belt, and lime green Tommy shoes back in the day. I had red pleather pants and white leopard print jeans. I wasn’t stylish, but I wasn’t too out of touch, either. I enjoyed 90s style, and still do, but it’s toned down. I’ve become practical. I’ve grown up. I've started wearing dresses.